Chuck Lin
Life in a fish bowl

Test the CISI javascript.

posted by Chuckin Dear DiaryNo Comments


Subtle and offensive

posted by Chuckin Dear Diary,Food,Rebel Without A CauseNo Comments

Sitting at my favorite French bistro in the lower east side contemplating about racism. Although the area is considered LES, the majority of the population is Chinese. Sadly very few Chinese would eat here due to the cultural and culinary differences.
I’ve been eating here regularly for many years and for most of the staff here, I’ve been here longer than the furniture.
Today a young waitress whom I have never met was sitting at the bar eating her breakfast. I sat myself down on my regular bar stool and opened my iPad to enjoy my morning. She looked up and impatiently asked, “Do you want something?”
A strange question to ask a patron. She didn’t bother to bring me a menu. In her eyes, what would I possibly want with a menu?
This young woman who seemed to be in her early twenties would not have escaped the massive diversity education indoctrinated into every child since the eighties. As a minority, I have experienced outright racism and the more subtle variety. I prefer the outright racist. They are on the fringe and relatively few in number. The subtle ones don’t realize their own attitude and would probably regurgitate their anti racism curriculum when asked. They live amongst us like a Manchurian Candidate ready to strike with their character assassination.
I looked up at her and replied, “coffee and food”. I hope that she would catch herself in her own prejudice. Sadly it doesn’t seem to be the case. Just then the manager walked over to greet me, he shook my hand, politely exchanged some familiarities and handed me a menu. “Coffee as usual?”, he asked. Yes, let’s start the day over beginning at this moment.

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Here is another attempt at creating the worst dating profile

posted by Chuckin Back in the dayNo Comments

Part of my okcupid dating profile:

Nasal drip

Apr 13, 2010

I hate pollen season. I’m stuffy, dizzy, and my nose drips like a cheap Chinese faucet. I can say that because I’m a cheap Chinese faucet.

Every year around this time my eyes become crusty, I sound like Randy Newman, and I’m constantly looking for tissues or curtains to wipe my nose with. My friend Amy gave me a few suggestions:

  1. Shower before you sleep. This will wash the pollen off your body. You will also benefit from a change of clothes, unless you re-wear the clothes you had on before the shower. I usually burn the clothes I wore that day. You don’t want to know why.
  2. Seal up your room. I was going to try and seal up the room with insulation. Then Dexter on Showtime gave me an idea. I’ve covered everything in painting tarp just like he does.
  3. Buy Neti-pot. It’s a little pot where you shove one end in your nose and pour water in. It’s some kind of water boarding for your sinuses. I was able to obtain some sensitive information about Al-Qaeda from my nostrils.

Unfortunately those tips have not worked. So tonight I’m going to sleep with a plastic bag over my head. No pollen will get through that if I make sure its taped securely around my neck.

I’ve collected some awesome photos of various colors of phlegm. I’ll post them on flickr for everyone’s benefit.

On a different note, why hasn’t anyone contacted me for a date? I’m really quite the catch. Except right now I’m like catching an eel, slimy and snotty.