Birthday Present

Joyce gave me a $100 gift card to the Apple Store for my birthday. I used it to buy a Snowball Microphone from Blue Microphones. I hooked it up today and this is my first attempt at recording music. I’m more of a guitar player than singer so you are just as much a part of this experiment  as I am.

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Can’t believe I already have requests!

Joyce – Cooler than Me

Amy – Rainbow Connection

Alright, this is good, I get to learn more songs and practice the singing.

Thanks!

Also, I built a little website, http://www.taintkicker.com . It’s a site where I can rant about people in the news. Hopefully people find my rants amusing.

Today I thank: Joyce, Jack, Gina, LB, Amy

It’s not easy being green

Genny and I were chatting online. We worked together at MOLI.com in Florida and I haven’t seen Genny in a while. Her dad was in the hospital and in bad shape. She’s trying to keep it together but it has been difficult. Our common bond is having to take care of our fathers. As bad as I feel about my own situation, she is 10 years younger than me and life must seem even more unfair.

She shared with me a memory of her father entertaining her when she was a child. He would hide behind the foot of the bed with Kermit the Frog puppet in hand, and sing “It’s Not Easy Being Green” for her lullaby.

My father was not that type. Parenting was a woman’s job. But I think in his way, he loved his children. He just didn’t know how to show it.

Genny, I hope your dad gets better soon. I know this is a poor substitute, and I only had a couple of hours to prepare, but this one is for you.

Today I thank: Genny, Joyce, Anthony, Simcha, Jack

The original version

Butterfly

“Have you heard from Lyvia?” asked Bomee.

No. And now I can’t stop wondering what happened to her. She’s one of the few that are not on facebook although my other non-facebook friends still keep in touch via email. I don’t know what happened to Lyvia. So off I go to my old hotmail account. Among the hundreds of unread messages in my account, I find one from her

RE: c pas très drôle mais cela nécessite diffusion‏

From: lyvia ~ (xxxxx@hotmail.com)

Sent: Thu 2/25/10 12:49 PM

To: chucklin@hotmail.com

Hi Chuck!

I am fine. So happy to see spring back. Winter was rude!

You are back in NYC?!? How are you????!!!!

Big hug!

Lyvia

Tag. I’ve been IT since Feb 25. I’m sorry Lyvia, I must give you a more active email address.

Lyvia, The Butterfly. When I met Lyvia, she was the girlfriend of a close friend of mine, V. To know Lyvia, all you really need is to look at a butterfly. She flutters beautifully, never in a straight line. She stops to admire every flower. She is happy, and she is free. I have so many stories of Lyvia, it’s hard to pick one to put down in this blog. I had quite a few adventures with Lyvia as well. There was a trip to Woodstock, a trip to Montreal, and a trip to lockup. Lyvia taught me to be silly, to dance and sing in the streets without care. She smiled constantly and always had a joke, even though I didn’t always understand them.

There is one story of Lyvia that I always replay in my mind when I think of her. Lyvia was there for me when I was at my lowest point, though she barely knew me at the time.

My life is a constant roller coaster, but in late 2002/early 2003 the coaster plummeted straight down into the abyss. New York was devastated by 9-11 terrorist attack and I sunk my savings into an investment that failed miserably. I was completely broke. I was sharing an apartment with Lyvia’s girlfriend but when I couldn’t pay that anymore, I had to move out. I put everything I needed into a laundry cart and walked out into the cold.

Up to this point V had been the world’s longest lasting couch surfer. She’s been staying on my couch for a couple of years. She saved all the money she earned and now she had a little bit of money for her and Lyvia to have the place to themselves. I was angry that she didn’t offer to reciprocate the favor and sad that my life had spiraled out of control.

I felt like a zombie, unable to muster any emotion or expression. Life was just about going through the motions. I was living in the office which did not have heat at night or the weekend. Often it was so cold that I would sleep in the closet with a space heater.

I refused to speak to V, but Lyvia came to visit me daily. I’m not even sure why she did. She barely knew me. I think she came because she saw a person in pain.

So it goes. Everyday she would buzz the door and I would answer. She would come upstairs, sometimes with coffee in hand. I rarely said anything to her. I accepted the company because rejecting her would take too much effort. Lyvia brought over the Xbox and asked to play HALO. I had left the XBox behind because it was a non-essential item that would have taken too much room in my pushcart. Lyvia made all sorts of strange noises and silly faces. She tried every way to get a rise out of me, but I wasn’t able to respond. I was worried that any facial expression might cause my stone facade to crumble.

Finally one day I decided that I would reward Lyvia for her efforts. As she was leaving, I managed to pull back my lips and give her a weak smile.

Lyvia’s face lit up and with her thick Swiss/French accent said “Good. I see you tomorrow”.

Then the roller coaster started moving up again.

Today I thank: Lyvia, Bomee, Altan