2011
Disappointment
In a week I’ll be 39 and I’ve finally learned about disappointment. It’s not that people haven’t disappointed me in the past. Some have. And as I write this I feel tremendous disappointment but not towards someone else but disappointment in myself because I’ve allowed someone else to cause this feeling.
There is a knot in my stomach and although I’m incredibly tired, I cannot sleep. I know this is bad for my delicate health, yet I cannot control this feeling.
My logical mind screams, “Save yourself! Let go!”
But disappointment is like a climbing buddy. He hangs below me, dragging me down. But I cannot cut the rope. I would be free of him, I would be saved, but I don’t know how to cut him loose.
You can only be disappointed, if you allow yourself to rely on someone. It can be reliance on someone to come through in a pinch, or just for the belief that someone is there, thinking of you.
It would be very difficult to go through life thinking that no one cares. And it would be impossible to go through life thinking that everyone does. And as much as I try to be there for all my friends, the disappointment that I feel when my friends aren’t there for me is irrational. I cannot control the actions of others, and I cannot expect of them what I expect of myself.
So I’ll do it. I’ll cut the rope and save myself. I shall free myself of my own disappointment. It is solely mine as I am the cause. It is all within me.
Goodbye climbing buddy. I will miss you.
Today I thank:
Jack, Scott, Cheryl, Russ, Gina, Andy
2010
WTF is that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
Gina: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
Gina: Lorises, actually
chucklin72: WTF
chucklin72: what kind of rat is that
Gina: It’s a slow loris
Gina: It’s ADORABLE
chucklin72: probably smell like pee
Gina: well, it is a lower primate
Gina: But it’s too slow to throw poo at you
chucklin72: is it even a legal pet?
Gina: Nope
Gina: Not even in the country wherethats filmed, I reckon
chucklin72: i bet late at night as you sleep, it climbs on your head and eat your eyes
Gina: awwww, it’s all cuddly.
Gina: I think it’s an herbivore
chucklin72: until it sucks the fluids out of your eye ball and you’re left with an empty socket
Gina: wear goggles
Gina: Not an exotic pet fan Chuck?
chucklin72: not for pets… for BBQ, definitely
chucklin72: i’ll eat anything on a stick
Gina: This is a prime example on the differences between men and women
Gina: Women think it’s cute and want one, you worry it will suck your eyes out and want to roast it on a spit
