Chuck Lin

Life in a fish bowl

Happy Mother’s Day

ach morning I prepare my medication for the day. Metformin, Plavix, Diovan, Coreg, Niaspan, Crestor, Byetta. I make sure I have enough test strips and needle heads for the day. I’m so used to it, I can do it before I’m fully awake.
Its going on three years since my diagnosis. The most difficult thing about having diabetes is the effects it has on my mother. She feels guilty that I have this disease, and she feels completely helpless. For Mother’s Day, I want for her to have one day of not worrying about me. But that’s something I will not be able to give her. I wrote the following entry in September of 2007, it belongs to my mom more than me.

My Three Month Anniversary

25.Sep.07, 11:53 EDT Blog edited on: 01.Nov.07, 03:04 EDT

Finally. It’s been three months since my diagnosis. I’ve had many difficulties in my life, but these past months has been the toughest. My admiration goes out to all the Type 1 kids out there. They have been my inspiration, and every time I feel down, I think of how much more difficult this is for a child.

I’ve been fortunate to have 30 some years of diabetes-free living. I hope to live the next 30 years complication-free.

I want to thank everyone on tudiabetes for their support, and their participation on this wonderful site. I read it often, and for the most part, the people on this site have been my support system. I also want to thank Manny for his hard work on building this place that helped so many people.

So here is my first A1C since I began treatment: 6.5

My A1C at the hospital when I was diagnosed was 9.5. I know I should be happy about 6.5, but but some reason, I didn’t feel happy.

It is a realization that my diabetes is real. There is no misdiagnosis. This is not a temporary situation. I have it. I am a diabetic.

Over the last three months I have been testing 6-8 times every day, injecting insulin, watching my diet, going to the gym, and started yoga. I have kept careful records of every BG on sugarstats.com (thanks Marston). I can tell you that my last my last 30 days BG average was 112, my last 3 month average was 115 and I have given myself at least 150 injections.

I know I have worked harder on this than anything else in my life. I know I should be happy with the results. But I am still disappointed.

Diabetes has taken away something that I will never reclaim. It has taken my innocence. It has replaced it with heart disease, high blood pressure and cholesterol. Even with my BG under control, I still fight these battles every day, and every day the enemy gains a little ground.

Diabetes did do something good for me. It cured me of my ignorance. I was blindly going through life, thinking that I was invincible. It was a harsh reality check and a high price to pay for my ignorance.

It’s amazing that I had to become a diabetic to learn the secret of life. Diabetics know that every day and every action is a struggle to survive and everything has its consequences. We know that pain is a small price to pay for being able to see the next sunrise. You live one day at a time, and in the end, you are thankful for each one.

Mom, don’t worry. I’ll be just fine.

For Mother’s Day, I want to thank all of women who have treated me as a son.
Mom (Pearl), Tammy, Joanne, Simcha, Joyce

Expressing gratitude is not hokey

In Tal Ben-Shahar‘s book “Happier” he detailed the importance of expressing gratitude.

One of his suggestions is to keep a “Gratitude Journal”. OK, this is the hokiest thing you’ll ever see me do, but I’m going to try to stick to his technique.


Here is the breakdown of hokey versus non-hokey statements from Tal:

Hokey

• “.. he co-founded The Institute for Positive Psychology in Education” – Hokey
• “Tal consults and lectures around the world to executives in multi-national corporation, the general public, and at-risk populations.” – Self-serving hokey
• Tal won the U.S. Intercollegiate and Israeli National squash championships – braggart hokey

Non-Hokey

• He obtained his PhD in Organizational Behavior and BA in Philosophy and Psychology from Harvard – Not hokey
• Citing the Emmons-McCullough paper in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology – too nerdy to be hokey
• Teaching an online course at UPenn – Hokey because it unaccredited, non-hokey because he’s probably making money to buy another yacht

Here is a somewhat hokey and non-hokey video:

---

So here is my gratitude journal for today:

Zipcar.com – Hey, they are awesome.

Jack – Funniest Jew alive. That’s saying a lot, those are funny people.

My dad – The old man might be a little weird, but he’s like a dusty attic: you’ll never guess what you can find up there.

My mom – We’re probably more alike than I’m willing to admit.

Pastrami – Jack, my dad and I had dinner at Katz’s Deli on Ludlow and Houston. Fatty meat rubbed with peppercorn. If you’re a vegetarian, you have no idea what you’re missing.

Here is the paper you nerd: Emmons_McCullough_2003_JPSP